Even A Dreamer

by Tori Heller

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Coyote sneaking through the chaparral, fairy gardens of miner's lettuce under the live oaks, wood thrush by the mystery creek, copperhead, desert sage, & awakening to the dream.


released May 5, 2017

Vocals, guitar, songs written by Tori Heller
Rob Chamberlain on drums
Cello by Isabel Castellvi & Violin by Madelyn Sovern
Randy Bickford singing harmony vocals on "No More"
Album art by Lindsey Elcessor
Recorded by Scott Solter in Durham, NC
Mastered by Steven Raets at Bunker Sound Studio in Chapel Hill, NC



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Track Name: On The Rocks
Lay me down
On the rocks of some other town
Break me out
From the chains I've been draped around

Rake me over the coals

Hold my hand
All I want is the feeling of home again
Crag of sand
If you fall all I got is a field to plant

Sand me down to the heartwood

Lay me out
On the edge of a mountain that's fallen down
Leave me there
On the rocks with my stomach bare

Burnish me to a fine glow
Can't you see that I know?
Track Name: Only Love
I will wait for you to come home
And I will hold you like the sweetest dawn tonight

Only god knows what the stars would say
All my love longs for the end of day tonight

Sometimes I fight like a strangled dove
Why try to do right if it's only love tonight
Track Name: Nowhere To Run
I walked down to you
I bowed down to you

I had faith in you
I felt safe with you
I was in love with you

We've been walked upon
We've been trodden on
We've been left to rot
We've been plain forgot

We've been drinking scum
We've been stolen from
We've got your poison guns
We've got nowhere to run

All we want is a little land to haunt

I was schooled by you
I've been fooled by you
Blindfolds are tough to lose
I've had enough of you

We've had to sink or quit
We have our lives to live
Don't you remember it
Don't you recall a bit?

All we ask is for a little land to have
And all we know is the hope for land to call home
Track Name: Long Road Back
I know that I've got a hard road back
Got a long night ahead, got a long path to tread

I know now, gotta go somehow
Find a place for to rest for the long road ahead

But I thought you were dead

If the light shines in, why do I hide it?
Why don't I jump the fence if I've got a long road ahead?

And the things I do, they're what I do for you
It must be for the best if it's for the long road ahead

But I thought you were dead

All the while I've been killing time
While the time I pass passes me by
And the dreams I had of living free
It was a noble plan but it wasn't me
It was all I had and it was just a scheme
Track Name: Baby Tree
Baby tree, baby tree, drop all your leaves on me
Why won't you fall?

Orange leaves, orange leaves, let them loose down on me
Can't you see all?

Baby tree, baby tree, why won't you rain on me
I'm just a seed in the ground

Orange leaves, orange leaves, take all the shame from me
Take it like water from clouds

And I know I will come home

Fire bright, fire bright, reflect in my wide eyes
Clear out the thick forest floor

Flaming sky, flaming sky, set your sun in my sight
Show me what evening is for

And I know I will come home

Baby tree, baby tree, why don't you love poor me?
Can't you see how hard we try?

Orange leaves, orange leaves, wash your gold over me
Paint me the color of fire

And I know I will come home
Track Name: Ashland, OR
Fifteen below
I felt that cold

City aglow
Stranded in snow
I nearly froze

Open your eyes
It's blindingly bright
Have we outlasted the night?

I'll love you despite
That great wall of white
Falling in front of my sight
Track Name: Already Glow
From the darkness comes a sign
That my light is the only one

Say I'm wrong, say I'm just a child
But this darkness knows me well enough

I was born to believe in love
Even though it's never enough
All I need is a sign my time is up
Even though time's never to trust

As I slept in the fading light I dreamt
That he called me his precious love

What a thing to be so heaven-pressed
To mistake him for my only one

I was made to always know
That I walk my path alone
All I want is your light to bright my own
Even though mine already glows
Track Name: No More
We're in a cloud now, our house just fog-filled air
Rain on the windows, and your hands are in my hair
We're dancing circles around the kitchen floor
Your eyes are hungry and my heart can't break no more

No more...

I'm in a dream now, where my mind can't hold it all
Yet I am ready to toss that flaming ball
Show me the water, the well I'm waiting for
My heart is hungry but my eyes can't take no more

No more...
Track Name: The Bird Song
My world
Only a dying bird
Only the finch that came

So small
Fit in my mittened palm
Fit like a dying flame

And even the beaver was cold

My heart
Peeling like birch bark
Laid like a rug for death

With gold plates
And gifts for those passed away
Gifts like a bird's last breath

And even a spirit gets bored

You and I
we're only a fishing line
Cast in a flowing stream

If I
Can hold a bird to die
Why wouldn't the world hold me?

And even a dreamer grows old
And even a beaver gets cold
And even a dreamer grows whole.